Some fun..

I have just a few fun pictures that I've been wanting to post..

Brynn is two years old, + 2 months.. So hard to believe how fast she is growing up.

She's talking like a maniac all of the sudden. Funny how they do that! She's putting words together and making sentences, lot's of time it takes alot of pointing and guess work to figure it out, but we are getting there. =) I do a lot of interpreting these days.

I am having so much fun being her mommy. Can't believe that this season of just me and Brynn is coming to an end. How I want to enjoy these last few months with only her. It's such a unique season! I'm grateful for it!

Pregnancy is going picture perfect. I am 27 weeks and counting... It's beginning to feel like I have no more room to stretch, yet I am in for the most stretching still most likely! gah! =) We are so excited to meet William. It's hard to wait patiently. He's already a busy boy. Always moving and moving! Can't wait to snuggle him. =)

Hope you enjoy these little memories.

This was my attempt at getting a picture of how long her hair is when I wash it! But it is so curly it had already begun to curl up by the time I took the picture!

Here she is in "room time" sitting so nicely on her bed reading books.

Oh how I Love these moments.. =)

We went to a friends house, Margaret, and they got pedicures. Here they are soaking their feet while they read a nice book.

Love it!

Getting ready for some color!

Cutie Pie, Margaret..

So Pretty!

The Movie face.

These are old, but such a great Memory, I had to get it on here. While we were in NJ, Brynn and I took an evening when it had warmed up a bit to go out just the two of us and build a snowman(or "schnowguy" in Brynn's words). I wish I could express how much fun it was. I loved getting time just us to do something so different. We had a blast.

Here she is with her Heavy snowball!

Helping get him all ready..

taking a break. =)

finished product! Pretty good, if you ask me, for two Florida girls!

Oh I love her.. and that cold red nose

Choosing to SEE

I have been reading "Choosing to SEE" by Mary Beth Chapman (Steven Curtis Chapman's wife). As you might know, it's been close to two years since they lost their youngest daughter (5 at the time) in a horrible accident in their own driveway. She writes wonderfully about her life, struggles and triumphs she's had, and also very much so about losing Maria. Now you know where my last post came from. =) I have loved reading the book, it's so good, and very well written. It is entertaining and heart wrenching. It has definitely had me thinking. A lot.

Since my last post I've been thinking about how nothing will ever be enough. In the years since losing Maria, Mary Beth talks about how much she misses her slobber, and her silliness and will just randomly say, "Oh, to kiss that little neck again." I cannot begin to fathom the gaping hole that is left when a child moves to Heaven without you.. But. No matter how much I "enjoy" my girl now, no matter how many times I kiss that little neck (which I soo love to do), It would never be enough. I can't kiss her enough, I can't remember each word and how she says it soo cute right now, I can't enjoy every moment to last forever... I feel a bit like I've been trying too hard, or too focused on "enjoying her" but have maybe let it get a bit into not Trusting. Not Trusting my Sovereign King. He knows our days. He knows when our last day will be, and He's chosen for me to not know our last day on earth. I don't know. While I want to live every day like it's my last, I can't live in fear, or without Trusting that God has even the amount of kisses ordained. =) God is Good. I know that, and I am so grateful for that. And I'm grateful that He will always be good, even through all the suffering He has for me in my life.

Thank you Jesus, for the gift of life you've given to my family. Thank you for your Sovereign Care. Thank you that you know when my last breath will be, and my husbands last breath, my daughters last breath, and my sons last breath (after he takes his first, Lord willing).. Help me to Trust that you know best. Thank you for the Hope of Heaven. Thank you that I do not have to despair when I think of such things, but that there is such Joy in thinking of these things. All because of the work you did on the Cross for me. Let me worship you today in ALL that I do.. You deserve so much Honor and Praise.. so much more than I'll ever give.. Thank you.

I'm going to go kiss that little neck again. =)

rambling..

I know that every Mom thinks about the future. I also know that every Mom has likely had the thoughts that I've been having.. It's still hard to believe that I fall into that category. Mom.

It's amazing to me the capacity that God has given us to love. It's amazing in so many ways. I know that God, loves me, more than I love anyone. Because I'm not perfect. He loves me with a perfect love. Unfailing and Good, ALL the time. It's amazing. On top of that, He's blessed my life abundantly. But. I live in this fallen world. Where suffering seems to follow us. Where life will never be "easy." This life is hard. Sometimes I wonder why we have to keep enduring. Can't we just all go to heaven already?! Yet, my life is so abundantly blessed. My life is so easy compared to so many. Look at the orphans all around the world who will never have a home. Look at the persecuted Church all around the world who are awoken in the middle of the night in their homes, and torn away from their children and families and taken to jail, only because they believe that Jesus Saves.

My question is, how can I live each day to the fullest? I do not know what this day holds. I do not know what this month holds, let alone this year, or this life. Will I live to see the day Jesus comes for us all? Will I live to see the day that my baby girl goes Home to see Jesus before me? People walk through that, every day.. losing their baby, their children.. My heart cannot fathom it. I hate not knowing if that would be something the Lord would have for me to walk through in this life. It's so easy to fear. How can I not fear? I cannot even begin to fathom the heartache and pain of losing a child. I don't want to. I don't need to. But I do want to live each day to the fullest. My little girl is two years old. as I write this I'm listening to her wake up to this new day, bright and talking away.. who knows about what, but she's awake, and happy, and ready to tackle this day. Am I? Am I ready to live this day as if it were my last? Or her last? How would I view things differently? How will I spend this day?

Yes, we'll get the laundry done, Lord Willing, and we'll clean her room, over and over... but I can say there will be lot's of hugs.. lot's of kisses, lot's of fun had, lot's of enjoying. Her. :)

John 16:33

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." (Jesus speaking)

I know one thing to be true. HOPE. I know that this life will be hard. But I have the Hope of all Eternity with my Savior. Because He has ALREADY overcome the world.. Praise Him!